Our Fall Break ended a little differently then expected. Thursday night after we watched The Box Trolls at the Glendale Drive-In we got in a car accident on the way home. We were hit not far from the movie theater by a drunk driver. I do not remember the accident. I remember leaving the theater and I remember waking up in the emergency room as they were taking me up to my room. Part me is disappointed I don't remember and part of me is relieved. This blog is our way of sharing our pictures with others, but it is also kind of like a diary for me. When we want to look back at the girls' baby pictures or remember a vacation we look back at the blog. For that reason I wanted to write a post on the blog about the accident, as a way to have an account to look back on and work through some of the details of what happened.
The Phoenix Police had been following the guy that hit us from a distance because he had been acting suspicious. There were a few other cars involved in the accident, but my girls said that our car looked the worst of the cars. I have kind of put an account together of the accident based on what my girls told me and based on what friends told me, but I have been hesitant to ask certain questions of my girls because I want to be careful how I cause them to relive it.
We left the drive-in late at night. Avery and Miren were falling asleep in the car when the accident happened. When it happened all of my girls were crying and they said I was slumped over in the front seat. I hit my head and was unconscious. I regained consciousness later at the scene of the accident, but could not answer any questions about myself or my girls. My girls were helped out of the car by three strangers before the police got there. They waited out on the sidewalk for at least an hour while things were getting sorted out. They mentioned several times that they did not like to stand out there without shoes on. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. The girls didn't see me come out of the car but Miren remembers seeing the ambulance leave. The police went through my cell phone trying to figure out someone to come pick up my girls. They called Andy and left a message on his cell phone to come get his girls, but he was in the Grand Canyon without cell phone coverage. They called both of our parents because I had them programmed in my phone as Mom and Dad... They called my parents, but it was so late my parents' didn't hear the phone. Then they talked to Andy's mom and she mentioned our friend, Phil Steenstra. Avery told the police they should call our friend Kate Steenstra. So Kate ended up coming to the accident to pick up the girls. I feel so blessed that Avery was able to convey this even though I couldn't give a name of someone to take them myself.
The Phoenix Police had been following the guy that hit us from a distance because he had been acting suspicious. There were a few other cars involved in the accident, but my girls said that our car looked the worst of the cars. I have kind of put an account together of the accident based on what my girls told me and based on what friends told me, but I have been hesitant to ask certain questions of my girls because I want to be careful how I cause them to relive it.
We left the drive-in late at night. Avery and Miren were falling asleep in the car when the accident happened. When it happened all of my girls were crying and they said I was slumped over in the front seat. I hit my head and was unconscious. I regained consciousness later at the scene of the accident, but could not answer any questions about myself or my girls. My girls were helped out of the car by three strangers before the police got there. They waited out on the sidewalk for at least an hour while things were getting sorted out. They mentioned several times that they did not like to stand out there without shoes on. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. The girls didn't see me come out of the car but Miren remembers seeing the ambulance leave. The police went through my cell phone trying to figure out someone to come pick up my girls. They called Andy and left a message on his cell phone to come get his girls, but he was in the Grand Canyon without cell phone coverage. They called both of our parents because I had them programmed in my phone as Mom and Dad... They called my parents, but it was so late my parents' didn't hear the phone. Then they talked to Andy's mom and she mentioned our friend, Phil Steenstra. Avery told the police they should call our friend Kate Steenstra. So Kate ended up coming to the accident to pick up the girls. I feel so blessed that Avery was able to convey this even though I couldn't give a name of someone to take them myself.
Kate took my girls to the emergency room at the hospital I was at to get the girls checked out. All of the girls had some scratches and Avery needed a couple staples in her head. Our friend Paul and Pastor Marc came to see us that night at the hospital. I finally got to see my girls after they had been checked out about 2:30am. They were quiet when they saw me and seemed unsure about me. They went home with our friends, Phil, Kate, and Kaley to spend the night. I spent the night in the hospital, but I was doing really well.
When I came out of my fuzziness in the hospital that night I didn't know what they had examined of me or determined were my medical problems. But it felt like every single inch of my body hurt. I had bruises all over my legs and every inch where my seat belt was. I also really hurt of tongue during the accident. My night was pretty quiet resting in the hospital. That night I remember feeling a sense that a miracle had happened in our lives, but I did not experience much emotion about the accident at that point. I remember thinking that day and for the next couple of days that everything was "fine" and that I needed to assure people that everything was "fine." My sister and my mom didn't feel like I was acting like myself at that point. It took me a few days before I acknowledged that what happened was a big deal and not everything was "fine."
Around 10am on Friday mornng, I was discharged from the hospital. My friend, Niki, brought me some clothes since mine were cut off in the emergency room and no longer usable. She took me to Phil and Kate's. The girls seemed to be doing really well, and I loved being able to take a hot shower and put my own clothes on again. Our friend, Phil is a police officer and he called around to try to figure out where our van was. Then Niki spent the afternoon taking me to the tow yard to see my van and collect some items from it. I didn't recognize the car at first and the guy that took me to it seemed amazed that I looked really good after being in the car accident the night before. It seemed so unreal and sickening. Then she took me home. My friends, Nicole and Tami did my job cleaning the church that day. My mom decided to come visit and help, even though I tried to talk her out of coming. My friend, Andrea picked my mom up from the airport and brought her to my house, and Kate brought my girls home. Kate brought pizza to our house and my friend, Lynola, came over and brought some goodies for the girls. She was willing to spend the night at our house if I needed, but since my mom was with us we didn't need her to stay. I was really tired but kept feeling better and better. It was a blessing that my mom came. She helped out so much with the girls and stuff around the house. My driver's license had also been taken out of my wallet during the accident and not returned, so it was a blessing she could drive us around until I got my license back. Andy didn't get back into Phoenix until Saturday night. He had several messages on his phone from our friends and family once he got back to cell phone reception. He said it was a blessing that he heard the messages in reverse order of what they were left because he heard everything was "ok" before he heard all that had happened.
At moments, I have a hard time not seeing the accident as the thing that ruined our fall break. However, I feel amazement at God's work in our lives as a result of the accident. He clearly showed us that He has our lives planned perfectly. He showed me His care for us through all of the love and care we experienced from our friends and family during that night and the days to come. So many people were Jesus to us through prayers, actions, hugs, e-mails, calls, and expressions. I feel like we experienced so many miracles that night and the days to come. I felt so grateful for our relatively minor injuries. My girls scratches are healing and I am healing too. I really just have the remnants of bruises and soreness in my back, neck, and wrists. I went to the neurologist this week to get a neuropsych exam following my "brain injury" and he said I am doing really well.
I feel intense sadness at what my girls had to experience that night. One of the negative feelings I struggle with the most is the feeling that I could not protect them in that situation. I was unconscious and could not shield them from any of what they experienced. It has been interesting to see how each of my girls has handled this situation. They have all been so strong. Avery, as the oldest, was able to give so much information to the police and to take so much responsibility. She doesn't like to talk about what happened and didn't want to talk to anyone at school about the accident, but she ended up telling two of her closest friends at school about it and she seemed to appreciate her teacher talking to her about it. True to her personality, Miren told her whole class right away about the accident and remembers that night as being a fun night since they got to stay up late and spend the night at their friend, Kaley's house. However, in the first two weeks after the accident she woke up several times with nightmares which is very unusual for her. And Kyra seemed happy as usual after the accident, but she was very clingy to me.
What I want my girls to remember most about that night is that God took care of every little detail of that night and the following days in ways I wouldn't have imagined and He showed us His loves immensely through others.
The girls enjoyed Grandma Sharon
I feel intense sadness at what my girls had to experience that night. One of the negative feelings I struggle with the most is the feeling that I could not protect them in that situation. I was unconscious and could not shield them from any of what they experienced. It has been interesting to see how each of my girls has handled this situation. They have all been so strong. Avery, as the oldest, was able to give so much information to the police and to take so much responsibility. She doesn't like to talk about what happened and didn't want to talk to anyone at school about the accident, but she ended up telling two of her closest friends at school about it and she seemed to appreciate her teacher talking to her about it. True to her personality, Miren told her whole class right away about the accident and remembers that night as being a fun night since they got to stay up late and spend the night at their friend, Kaley's house. However, in the first two weeks after the accident she woke up several times with nightmares which is very unusual for her. And Kyra seemed happy as usual after the accident, but she was very clingy to me.
What I want my girls to remember most about that night is that God took care of every little detail of that night and the following days in ways I wouldn't have imagined and He showed us His loves immensely through others.
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